Top a di day mi don. Raga, back in the days I meet this girl and fell in love with her at first sight. I meet her like three days before Christmas. When mi meet har Raga she tell mi dat she nuh have no man and nutten nah gwan fi har fi Christmas, and true she look good and thing, and is my type of girl (half-coolie), mi decide seh mi a go just roll wid har. Raga, she did live in a rented apartment and she owe rent from way down inna July, and Raga mi pay up di six months whey she owe, plus pay three months in advance.

Di bed whey she did a sleep pon Raga, a borrow she did borrow it from har friend. Mi mek she give back har friend the bed, and buy har one. Mi buy a brand new stove, and sort out har kitchen (plates, cup, glass, spoon, forks, pot, etc). Mi send har down a mi hairdresser cousin to do har hair. In other words, Raga, mi sort har out properly fi di Christmas, and from dat night mi started sleeping at her house. In other words, mi live in wid har Raga. So every ting a gwan well.

So one night mi and she deh deh a sort out Raga, an mi hear a bike ride up innna di yaad. Di man start call out har name ova an ova. Raga, yu know seh di gal jump off a mi tool and run go out deh! Mi nuh seh nutten. When mi see seh she a tek long fi come back in, mi look out thru di window and see dem a hug up and kiss up, and when mi couldn't tek it no more, mi go out deh and tell har, "don't do that to me right yah soh."

Anyway, mi jump pon my bike and go a my yaad. In a di morning now, mi go roun a di house, and tell har seh, "yow, mi nah go work wid this enuh, so mi a go cut, but mi a go want back mi tings dem" (bed, stove, plate, etc). Raga, she run go fi har mada. When har mada cum now, she a tell mi bout seh if me and har daughter deh and we have two spoon, and den we a go left, mi haffi gi har daughter one and me tek one. She seh har daughter fi get di stove and me get di pot and plate dem. And har daughter fi get di divan and me get di matrash.

So me tell har mada seh she mad, cause me an har daughter not even deh fi two weeks good, so dat can't work. So she bring har bredda dem come fi defend har. So me just go home fi my bad-man cousin now, fi come defend mi and mi things dem. Mi explain and tell mi cousin how di ting go and him seh, "yu mad cous, come mek wi go dung deh and mek yu get yu tings dem."

Raga, when wi reach down deh, mi cousin mek di gal rest har hand pon him shoulder and soft him up. Di man look pon mi and seh "cous, yu know seh, jah know, it betta yu lef har wid di tings dem enuh". Raga, a just di matrash and some a di cup and plate and spoon mi end up wid.

And Raga, yuh know seh mi cousin start sort har out shortly after dat. Raga mi bad-man cousin sell mi out fi one gal. Mi lose offa him, mi link. Yeah Raga, a soh di ting set enuh. Just keep it real, mi link. Bless up.

Baxside! Massa, it plain an simple, yuh did buck up pon one a dem tiefing, con artist gyal deh. Yeah, she's a damn tief! She an di whole a har gingaration dem. Mi cyaan believe seh wen yuh an har a sort out shi jus fly offa yuh suh! An den go outside a hug up an a kiss up di man! What a gyal cold!! Nooooo sah!!

But nuff a dis a your fault though. How yuh fi jus meet a bag-juice gyal an gaan buy so much tings fi har? Yuh mad? Yuh probably shoulda jus gi har a one hairstyle an piece a clothes fi di Christmas. Weh di baxside yuh gaan buy har furniture fa? Cho! Mi bex, an ano mi!

An yuh dutty cousin wicked fi sell yuh out dem way deh. But yuh an him a really family fi true, cause di two a unu mek nookie tun unu eena Gladys an eediat. But mi hope yuh learn yuh lesson though, an nuh mek nuh more woman clown yuh out. All now di mix-up a bun mi. Cho!