THERE'S a Facebook group: Men who cry, are proud of it, and the women who love them for it, dedicated to the "brave men who will admit they cry because of a lover, a sappy movie, or any other reason. The group is also "for the women who love them for doing it and for them [men] being so sensitive".

The group administrator invites fans, men "who are proud to cry or the women who appreciate their sensitivity — men of culture, men of class, men who embrace their emotions".

 

 

Fighting back tears, House Republican leader John Boehner of Ohio celebrates the GOP’s victory in November last year. (Photo: AP)

There are not a lot of members by Facebook standards — just 141 Facebook users who agree with the group's mantra. It's perhaps because many women are bent on the idea that a crying man is weak, effeminate and too soft, or at the other end of the spectrum, a ginnal, a trickster who uses his tears to get her to give in to his lies.

While debunking the weak theory, transformational coach and motivational speaker Courtney Kazembe said tears are a natural part of both men and women and men should be allowed to cry.

"All human beings cry," Kazembe said. "Men have been socialised not to cry, but we all do it. We all have tear glands — that is not unique to one sex or the other, all human beings have it. So it is something that is there and something that is natural."

While some women believe a few occasional tears are OK, or even indicative of a sensitive soul, others are wary about the drop down, drag out bawling some men do.

"My husband cried on our wedding day — I mean loud, snot-dripping weeping as I was walking up the aisle," Nordia Brooks-Lee told All Woman. "It's not something I fault him for, it was an emotional day for both of us. But some people afterwards said he could have kept it in check better... little do they know that he also cries in bed, when he's mad and when he's sad..."

Speaker of the House of Representatives in the United States John Boehner is one man who cries regularly in public, and has been caught on camera numerous times dabbing away tears.

His tears have earned him ridicule from both other politicians and members of the public, including those on Internet boards who try to figure out 'why does John Boehner always cry?'

And the 2009 ABC Bachelor Jason Mesnik ended his search for a wife in an episode of waterworks, that had writers dubbing the man who cried over 10 times the "weepiest Bachelor ever".

Of course both men gained some sympathy, but also some insults as well.

So what makes men emotional? Do women find emotional men attractive?

"When my fiancé admitted that he had shed a few tears during the early stages of our relationship, when we were just getting to know each other, it was more flattering than anything," Julie Richards said. "Here was a man who'd told me that he didn't get emotional, admitting that he had cried. His admission cemented the feelings I had that he was genuine, and that he had fallen so deeply in love with me, that he could cry," she said.

"The issue is not the crying in and of itself," Kazembe said. "But what the crier oftentimes wants the other person to feel."

He said a woman should accept that nothing is wrong with a crying man if he does it in his own way and not in a manner to manipulate her.

"If he needs to cry, cry. If he is dealing with pain, grief etc, as long as he is not using it as a psychological means of manipulating, but he is just a human being who is feeling a particular way and he deals with his pain that way, nothing is wrong with that," Kazembe said.